Domestic Violence Questions and Answers

Domestic Violence Services and Advice

Domestic Violence Questions and Answers

We introduced this Domestic Violence Questions and Answers page for you to post questions you may have on the topic. For example, if you want to know whether you should proceed with an application for a protection order, pose a question with some background facts. At the same time, should you be able to assist others who posted questions below, requiring some advice on Domestic Violence, please proceed and reply to their comments.

In that manner, we would all be able to assist each other and increase our online knowledge base. Therefore, although we are a legal consultancy, specialising in family law, you may have problems or experiences that we have not encountered. Let us share our knowledge of Domestic Violence.

There are various other family law resources on this website that you may find useful. For example, there is a downloadable child maintenance calculator. The resources may assist you with whatever questions you have, or information you require on Domestic Violence. Therefore, after posting your question, or any time after, have a look at the useful resources and information on our website. Some of these resources are listed hereafter.

Articles and Q&A

There is a range of legal articles on this website dealing with various family law issues. Some of these articles are straight forward, outlining the legal position on a family law-related topic. For example, how to apply for child maintenance, or how to get divorced.

Other articles are written in the form of answering a specific legal question. For example, do I pay maintenance if I am unemployed, or what do I do if I want to leave the country with my child, and the other parent does not want to provide consent? Those articles are in blog format. This means that you are welcome to comment or pose questions to increase our knowledge base. The clear idea behind our website is that we want to make family law legal information more accessible and available to the public.

Downloadable resources

We created some downloadable resources for free on this website. They are:

1 Free Basic Will Tool Kit

2. Free Shariah Will Template

3. Free Divorce Starter Tool Kit

4. Free Child Maintenance Calculator

5. Free DIY Urgent Child Contact Toolkit

Feel free to download these useful resources. Click on the links above, and complete the online purchase process. The purchase price is R 0. Thereafter, a downloadable link would be emailed to you. Once you received the email, download it as soon as possible as the link would expire after two months. We hope that we assisted you with any queries you had on Domestic Violence. If not, feel free to arrange a consultation with us.

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About the Author

Advocate South Africa

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17 thoughts on “Domestic Violence Questions and Answers

  1. How do I apply for a Protection Order to prevent further Economic Abuse from my sons father who despite my efforts, has managed to avoid signing a maintenance order for 11 years. We privately signed a maintenance agreement in 2013, which he complied with till the end of 2014, then abandoned his duty for 4 years. Apparently he had no income while his family took care of him, while I raised our son on my own merit.
    When he got a well paid job in 2019, I was just getting on my feet financially, it had taken me 3 years and 10 house moves to relocated to PE after the Knysna fire. I had to sell all my belongings to survive and to lighten my load to begin again in a town I didn’t know, on my own.
    When he began earning he made as if he wasn’t earning much, so the amount of support he offered was less than our agreements calculation by then. I was relieved to receive anything at all. But then he began undermining my ability to support my kids, by withholding payments unless I agree to terms that included getting a job with a salary and stopping my 20 year old business, which he called a failure for not earning enough during 2020 lockdown. His sudden intrusion in my life caused me to stop business operations as his actions threatened the security of our home, this has been the theme since, causing me to have to continually beg him to pay the correct amount on time, while enduring his psychological abuse at the mercy of what became dependency.
    At the time I reapplied for a maintenance order, which drained all my resources over 12 months and 7 court appearances that concluded with postponements till the matter was inconclusively withdrawn. During this process he managed to withhold his support past month end so many times that we lost our rental home. I feel that in order to commence with my business I need to protect myself from his coercion. (I have never been married, so there’s no documented recourse in the legal system)

    My question is, how do I present my affidavit for a Protection Order of this nature? Can you provide a template or guideline of sorts that can help others in similar situations? It needs to be immediately recognized and acknowledged by the magistrates officer. How can I make it look simple?

    When I attempted to submit my application the officer said I need to make a list of evidence with dated communication and what was said that I find offensive. He said I can’t include economic abuse in my protection order, because that must be taken up in the maintenance department, which clearly didn’t work.

    This is what the Domestic Violence Act says…
    Economic abuse may involve preventing a victim from resource acquisition, limiting the amount of resources available to him/her, or exploiting the victim’s economic resources.The motive behind preventing a victim from acquiring resources is to diminish his/her capacity to support him/herself, thus forcing the victim to depend on the perpetrator financially.
    Intimidation: Uttering or conveying a threat, or causing a victim to receive a threat, which induces fear. The abuser may use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare the victim into submission.

  2. The father of my three children is abusive now I want to leave him the problem is children’s school reports and transfer letters, because he’s the one paying the fees and we are no longer talking to each other because of his anger issues,I also want him to change the surnames to mine.

  3. My mother is financially dependent on my older brother and he abuses her physically, mentally and verbally. The property they live on is in her name although he pays the bond and insurance etc. What is the best steps to take to ensure her safety?

  4. hello. I am a father of two children, currently unemployed and living with my mother who is a retired educator. I have been living with the mother of my two children for about two years now and recently found out that she has been seeing someone else. Now that we are separate, she applied for a protection order but falsely accusing me of things i don’t know of, now i’m countering her protection order as she is also denying me access to my children whereas her protection order does not even state such. All I want is to take care of my children without any interference from her and the boyfriend. How do I proceed with this matter and if I am able to get full custody of my children.

  5. Can I get full custody if I am unemployed but living with my parents? The father of my child wants to change our son’s surname and is always threatening that he’s going to take him overseas without me. He wants a brittish passport to travel alone. So he wants to use our son & leave him with his parents overseas. He has consumed crystal meth when I found out that I was pregnant. He is unstable emotionally and incapable of physically taking care of our son because he is narcissistic.

    1. The court looks at what is best for the child. If after considering all the facts and the court sees that it is best that you have sole custody, the court would order so.

  6. Can I get full custody if I am unemployed but living with my parents? The father of my child wants to change our son’s surname and is always threatening that he’s going to take him overseas without me. He wants a brittish passport to travel alone. So he wants to use our son & leave him with his parents overseas. He has consumed crystal meth when I found out that I was pregnant. He is unstable emotionally and a narcissist.

  7. good day, my children’s father has been using drugs, we got divorced and I told him to find his own place, he went to counselling sessions and said he got help from a doctor with vitamins and medication. its been a while now, he moved back into the house after several test showing he was clean. in the past it used to be terrible, verbal abuse and sometimes physical to my arms and legs. the verbal abuse continues, he claims its his way of speaking. even with the children he uses verbal abusive language. we always argue about how he speaks. I recently found substance in his shoe it was still in a bag with a note rolled up. I feel like telling him to go, but when we were separated, he basically used every thing to make me feel like I was wrong and I have caused damage to the children while he was not saying with us, that’s also another reason I decided for him to move back. but now after this discovery again, I don’t know what do. I want him out of our lives and I want to get full and sole custody to protect them from harm and possible danger. what should I do?

    1. Good day
      You need to act in the children’s best interests. If you feel sole custody is best and the father won’t agree, then you need to apply to the Court for such an order. It is best to discuss this issue with a lawyer face to face.

  8. Good day me and my daughters dad has been living 2 gether for a year and he was always verbally abusing me even infront of my daughter he was always drinking. He came home 1 morning and it got physical the police asked me if I wanted 2 lay charges against him so I didn’t becuz my daughter is 5 and I didn’t want her 2 c her dad like this we were not maried at all he moved out and took most of the things that was his I am working for his mother for 3 years now but I resigned becuz of the situation. He moved back 2 his mother his always drinking and taking my daughter 2 bars under the influence of liquor I even recorded him where he was verbally abusing me becuz he denied it. Am I aloud 2 move 2 a nother town with my daughter 2 give her a better life her dad gets out of control when his drunk and I don’t want my daughter around that

    1. Good day
      The principle in our law is that you should act in your child’s best interests. This applies to both parents. You are allowed to move unless a court orders otherwise. It is best you discuss this issue properly with the father beforehand.

  9. what can you do if the father physically and emotionally abuse the mother in front of the kids and when you call the police they do nothing but say deal with your family issues which I feel they are not doing their job as they are the one to protect the us .

  10. What can the mother of children do after separation from the father due to abusive relationship and children are too scared to be left alone with their fathers? The father has physically abused the mother, children have witnessed it and he has threatened for no relevant reasons to hit the children, constantly raises his voices and has emotionally traumatized the children. What can be done due to fathers rights of access to the children?

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