Father being refused contact to his child! What are his rights as a Father?

Father being refused contact to his child! What are his rights as a Father?

Father being refused contact to his child! What are his rights as a Father?

The concept of Family

Fam-i-ly. A three-syllable word, that means so much.  The concept of family is a very broad one and one that takes more than one form. There is the traditional form, and a more modern one. When you say “she is family”, you may be referring to your father’s cousin, a grandparent, or a niece. However, people most often referred to are those closest to you, referring to blood relations, for example, a parent or child. The most basic social unit of what a family comprises of – two parents and in most cases a child.

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However, the law now sees people as family who are not necessary married to each other in law, but who may be cohabiting as life partners, bringing a more modern concept to it. As the law recognises family relations, it therefore imposes certain rights, obligations, and certain restraints when it comes to family. For example, spouses have a legal obligation to maintain each other, and you may not marry your sibling. Another example is that of inheritance, even if you never knew you had a child, at your death, he or she would inherit from you if you die intestate, all just because, you are Fam-i-ly.

What is a father?

This article deals with the legal relationship between a biological father and a child.

Not all men are blessed with being referred to as a father. In order to be a father, you have to be a male parent to a child. The child must have been born from you. And therefore, every child can only have one father. However, from the moment you became a father, the law imposed certain rights and responsibilities. These responsibilities will remain until you or your child’s demise. The scope of this article is not to stipulate what a good or bad father is. It is to outline what the responsibilities and rights of a father are towards his child.

What are the father’s rights towards his child?

This article is inspired by the fact that many fathers who are not in a marital, or romantic relationship with the mother of his child, are refused the rights to exercise his parental rights and responsibilities towards his child. In South Africa, we have the Children’s Act 38 (Act 38 of 2005), which came into effect on 1 April 2010. Here section 10 of the Act is of use. It defines parental responsibilities and rights, which includes the right to care for the child, to maintain contact with the child, to act as guardian of the child; and to contribute to the maintenance of the child.

Fathers of children born out of wedlock does not automatically have rights towards their child. In order for you to form part of such a child’s life you need to fulfil the requirements of section 21 of the Act, which basically states:

  • at the time of the child’s birth, you are living with the mother in a permanent life-partnership; and
  • you contribute or have attempted in good faith to contribute to the child’s upbringing for a reasonable period;
  • you contribute or have attempted in good faith to contribute towards expenses in connection with the maintenance of the child for a reasonable period.

Many fathers would have been married to the mother. Others would have meaningfully partook in the child’s life from birth. Therefore, there should generally be no difference between a child born from a marriage and a child born outside of a marriage.  To take the statement further, it is possible for a father of a child born out of wedlock to be the primary care giver of the child, where the mother is only entitled to see the child at certain times and circumstances, or not at all.

What is meant by the terms care and contact?

The question is now posed, what is meant by this right of care and contact a father has towards his child? The Act provides a very holistic understanding of the concept of care. This includes providing the child with proper accommodation, guidance, protection and so on. Basically, to do, and provide the child with whatever is in his or her best interests. Contact, on the other hand entails maintaining a personal relationship with the child, visiting or being visited by him or her, and communication with the child in various forms.

Can the mother of your child deny you contact and care rights?

Now we deal with the issue of whether or not the mother of your child can arbitrary deny you from exercising your parental responsibilities and rights of care and contact. Should a mother feel that the father of her child should have limited rights and care to his child; in order for her to limit his rights, the mother should have a very good reason for doing so. Her reason should be motivated by what is in the child’s best interest and nothing else.

However, what is in the child’s best interest is an objective assessment and not a maternal one. All factors are to be considered. Therefore, by way of example, should the mother’s reason be that the father has a new girlfriend, or that she does not like his parents – that would not on the face of it be a good reason. Therefore, should the father unreasonably be refused care and contact, he can invoke the law. Should he decide to litigate, the court would assess the matter and make a ruling as to what is in the minor child’s best interest. The court may agree with the mother, or the father, or with none of them.

Final words to fathers

As a father of a child, you are legally afforded with certain parental responsibilities in relation to your child. In South African law, there is no distinction between the rights of a mother and that of a father in relation to a child if the father has full parental rights and responsibilities. However, what the law looks at is what would practically make sense when exercising those rights and responsibilities. In other words, we cannot cut the child in half.

The yardstick is, what is in the child’s best interests. All families are different, with many variables at play. Therefore, if it would be in the minor child’s best interests to reside with their mother, that should happen. Even if the father only sees the child on Christmas eve, then that should be the case. However, in the same breath if it would be in the minor child’s best interest for the minor child to reside with the father and the mother to have contact once a month, then that should be enforced. Therefore, if you as a father are unreasonably being obstructed from exercising your rights of care and contact, get legal advice, and enforce your rights.

Sharing is Caring

This and other articles and posts found on this website are written by Adv. Muhammad Abduroaf to assist people with various family law related issues they may have. If you find any of our articles, free resources and posts interesting, or possibly useful to others, please like and share it on Social Media by clicking on the icons below. For more interesting articles and information on Family Law, view our articles and Q&A page. If you have a family law related legal issue and you want someone to answer or reply to it, feel free to post it on our Family Law Blog. Therefore, kindly like and share.

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About the Author

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111 thoughts on “Father being refused contact to his child! What are his rights as a Father?

  1. Hi

    My son has visitation rights but on any given weekend when its his time to visit sometimes he is out of the country on business. So in that terms she now made a case against him because he didnt pick the kid up that day and we dont know if there is even a case like that can you please advise.

  2. Initially my son was seeing his kids 2 Saturday s per month. He fought this for 3 yrs and now for the last year he has got the kids 50/50. He has agreed to pay 50/50 all costs regarding the kids
    for everything. The home that his wife is staying is their marital home and will be sold. She wants him to pay 50% for the home. He cannot afford this because he his renting also and she won’t drop the maintenance. She is threatening to take him to high court. Please can you advice or any suggestions.

  3. Good day

    My ex-wife recently remarried and emigrated to the United States of America on 28 December 2023, as her new partner is an American citizen. (Our divorce in 2020 was uncontested by myself)

    I therefore have very limited contact with our daughter (6 years of age).
    I send messages daily and have as of today had two video call conversations with my daughter.
    Prior to her emigration, I would visit my daughter every Thursday evening from 6pm to 8pm and every second weekend (Saturday 2pm to 7pm; Sunday 9am to 3pm)

    I need to know what my rights are under South African law pertaining to visitation, as it is now impossible for me to have physical contact with my daughter as I do not possess the means to travel to the USA to see her.

    It should be noted that due to unfortunate circumstances, I lost my employment in 2020 and managed to find alternative employment at a third of the salary I was earning at date of divorce.

    I have been contributing as much as possible to maintenance of my daughter, occasionally even going without food in order to ensure that she has sufficient.

    I was bankrupted by the divorce and am currently under sequestration under South African Law, yet I still maintain monthly payments towards my daughter.

    My ex-wife was advised by her lawyer to keep her South African bank account open in order for me to continue with payments, which I am happy to do as it is for my daughter (for whom I would give everything I have).

    What are my options in this situation?

    Thank you in advance

  4. Me and My Girlfriend were in relationship for 3 to 4 years and we just had our little
    princess 4 months ago as soon as we broke up she is denying access to my daughter even
    though I’m supporting child since day and still supporting my daughter Ive have all my slips everything to prove that I maintained my daughter. I’m i wrong or is she committing a crime
    any feedback will be highly appreciated

  5. Hello, please assist.

    I’ve been in a relationship with my baby daddy for 2 years and we where blessed with a boy child, during the pregnancy he wanted the DNA upon the child’s birth , then time went by, the boy was born he never went to to proclaim the DNA because he come to his senses , 2 years back we broke up and he stopped maintaining the child up till this day,the child is 4years going to 5years, I’ve never denied him the access to visit his child even though he stopped maintaining him, he now want full access to the child and he even approached his legal aid , and they called me saying his requesting full access to his child, I asked them if have I ever denied him to see his child? Which is no.

    So now they say if we don’t reach a conclusion they will take the matter to children’s court ,to fight for full access, because his saying the time he has with his child is not enough. Does he have a case ? Because he says he won’t maintain the child until he get the full access to the child.

  6. Good day

    Does the father of my son have the right to a video call every day mon – fri or can i not comply with this?

    as my son is only 18 months old and his father has never looked after him, is his father allowed to take him for weekend stay overs or can i limit this to day visits only?

  7. Good day

    I have 2 girls, 1 is 16 months the 2nd 1 is 5 months.
    with dauther no1 the father was very much present during our pregnancy but after the baby was born he was in and out, each time I needed him to help with the baby like taking baby for her immunization or Doctor’s appointment he would make excuses and I found out that it was due to the new girlfriend he couldn’t get away from her. later the woman started to be the 1 responding to the messages I would send to the baby daddy concerning our baby she would tell me to leave the man alone and adhere to the baby’s needs alone and for a long time reaching out eventually I stopped,he even missed our daughter’s 1st birthday.
    later in the months we were together again and I fell pregnant and this time around he was just not present I went through the clinic visits alone even during the time the baby was born he was not at theatre with baby no. 2 and a weeks later he told me th baby was not his and called me a bitch, so after that day I decided to do things by myself for myself with my babies we have be struggling together with my girls whist he is busy having fun out there.
    now his been calling me telling me he wants his girls they are both his girls it is killing him to see Tham that they are getting bigger and doing fine without him present. I asked why was he not there in the 1st place and turned his back on them? what does he think they are eating he says he just want to be part and sent fotos of them he will I must just stop being selfeand cruel. I told him to leave me and my babies alone. he said he is going to takehim to social workers.


  9. i had a girlfriend , we dated and become pregnant we break up when t he pregnancy was 5 months and now and during the pregnancy visit i become aware that because of certain complications the child would be prematurely so the child is born and the intentions of the matter are that i am not going to have access to the child and i am willing to be part of the child’s life and she is telling me that i am not the father of my child but all know including her family and mine know is mine so i would like an advice what do to in this situation

  10. Good afternoon
    I would like to know if I may insist on supervised visits with my ex and our kids, owing to his continued substance abuse.
    He refuses to provide proof that he is not using. And gets aggressive when I insist that he may not take the kids without my permission or supervision. I had and IPO against him in 2020 for GBV.
    He also refuses to tell me where he lives so I would not know where he is taking them.
    We don’t have a parenting plan in place, and when he was told to go to children’s court for an investigation, he knew he would be investigated for drugs. I don’t stop him from seeing the kids when he asks, Just in a public place with someone overseeing. Is this ok?
    Thank you so much.

    1. To avoid an issues, we suggest you consult with a law on the issue of supervised or unsupervised visit. You may also consider speaking to a social worker on the issue. Therefore, if you do decided not to allow unsupervised visits, it would be based of well thought through advice.

  11. Good Day
    I am married to this lady for 4 years and we separated, i thought during separation she will clear her mind at her mothers place and come back. But she decided to get married again without my knowledge, The man who she married to, abused my daughter, then the lady decided to give her mother our child to stay with. Now i went to my mother in law to check for may wife only to find that she is married to another man, then i requested to take my child with me and they agreed. I registered my child at private school as i want to ensure that the child’s best interest are met. The lady came to school attempted to steel the child from school but she failed, then she went to the police station came at my place with the police and the took the child away from me. How to get my child s custody because the lady took the child from me and she does not stay with the child, and her mother she cannot take care of the child they are not good financially, when i sent money for the child they do their own thing with the money and the child carry a black tea to public school and she will eat the white rice that they cook at school because she is allergic to other food that cooked at school. please assist.

  12. He did not want to be present in the pregnancy process, i notified him when i gave birth, he asked for a dna , when my daughter was a month old, we travelled to him to do the dna test, he said he doesnt need to do it, he can see that she is his. i would take the baby to him while she was young, when she turned a year old, i told him i couldnt carry on bringing her to him so he would have to come see her, he reused every time i asked him to come see her. i got a notification from the family advocate a month back, he is taking me there on grounds that i deny him access to her. how is it possible? i am confused and i dont know what to do.

  13. “In South African law, there is no distinction between the rights of a mother and that of a father” It is now 2021 and I can say: Absolute rubbish! The woman can do as she pleases. The family advocate did not say “In the best interest of the child”, he said and I quote “She is the child’s mother and there is nothing you can do about it. You’ll thank me later.” this after all the evidence you ever wanted to prove that giving the child to the mother was a mistake. Now 16 years later and the child is a mess and the mother wants to get rid of her. Bottom line, the woman can do as she pleases and you as a man and father must just except it and take it. “Best interest of the child” the court said. 16 years of low blows and being kicked in the face by the woman and every ball sack she moved in with trying to prove he is the man and now I myself have had enough.

  14. Hi, in September 2017 I met this other girl 2 months later she told me she’s pregnant and she will like money for abortion but I refused then afterwards she cut me off and in 29 May 2018 she gave birth to a baby girl, I called and asked her who is the father of the child since she told me I am not a father, which didn’t make sense to me, even today she still telling me the same that I am not a father and I asked her for DNA which she refused. I don’t know what to do I believe that if the child is mine I at least get a chance to be a father to that child

  15. I have a daughter with (M), we fell preg in 2018, in 2019 before she gave birth went and paid lobola, I paid 90% of the required amount, she gave birth to princess on the 28th of feb 2019. After 3 months we started staying together. The child would visit her side of the family or mine during weekends. Princess got sick just before her birth day this year and was admitted, for two nights in hospital. Mid March things got rocky as always, and we decided to call it quits. She left with princess and sent me an email, that princess wont be going to day care anymore she has decided and nothing will change and if me or my side of the family want to see the child we should come to her parents house she wont be doing any sleep overs till the matter is settled with the elders. I had already paid the day care, had to go advise them that the child wont be coming back. I was just too emotional, and feeling overwhelmed, child got sick, was involved in a minor accident, breakup, then the child being taken away from me. Couldn’t even think straight.

    Baby girl had an appointment with a pediatrician, it was a Wednesday after the break up and the moving out. After the appointment she gave me a bag and said here is your child bring her back on Friday, My ego could let me take her, but the love I have for my daughter is just too much. I took her, there was no formular and no warm clothes. Had to go buy.

    I found that offensive and wrong because, before the break up the child visitations setup was fine to fit both families. I spent a month without seeing my daughter which was one of the most painful experiences I have gone through. I some how knew it would turn out like this, Whenever we would fight she would mention that she would leave with our daughter and I won’t see her again.

    After weeks of trying to reason with her, she sent me an email to come fetch the child, i didn’t hesitate I went to fetch her and they didn’t put nappies and again there were no warm clothes. I noticed when i got home. Had to go buy. Bare in mind I had bought a packet 2weeks back that lasts for approximately 5weeks. She spent a week with me, sent her back and went to fetch her again after a week. When I sent her back i recived a call in the morning that the child is sick they at the doctor drove quickly, we were advised that the child has tonsils. Said she would update me on her well being, which she didn’t used an alternative which is her mother for updates.

    I was suppose to fetch her on Tuesday last week I recived an email in the evening that, the child wont sleep over until we discuss the Coparenting, if I want to see the child I should come to her parent house.

    I need to know how to approach this. The parents house, the grandmother smokes, my child has been exposed to cigarettes from day 3 of her life, the uncle once kissed the mother of my child in an intimate way she still hasn’t told her family about this. I don’t trust the uncle at all with my daughter. She is also under going therapy, due to her past traumas.

    She is bullying me with our daughter and I can keep begging to spend time with my daughter.

    I didn’t want this to go far, because it might affect princess in a long run.

    I decided to cut all voice communications, for the sake of having all proof, again I’m still emotional and I always feel like telling her all the unsaid words I didnt say for the past years.

  16. Hi, my ex girlfriend told me she was pregnant when we broke up & I’ve never seen the child or my ex for 4 years now. She told me she moved to another province which was hard for me to go there & check if there’s really a child cause been told by her friends that they never saw her pregnant & they never heard of her having a child.

    I’ve been trying to call her asking to see the child but she doesn’t want to yet she keeps calling me for the past 4 years to support the child that I don’t even know is even there. I feel like I’m being scammed.

    Is there something I can do? I want to see the child & do a DNA test before everything else then go forward from there. Can the law support me on that?

  17. My son is 8months old and I have no access to see him. His mom is in Durban and I’m in Jozi. I was paying for doctor visits during pregnancy and every month after his been born.
    Basically I do my duties as a parent dispute the fact that she doesn’t want me in his life or to see him. Now I’m at a stage that I have to speak to my sons grandmother in order to video call him. How do I get help because we are in two different provinces?

  18. My brother in-law just found out that he has a daughter. The mother didn’t let him know she was pregnant when they broke up.
    She has hid it away from him with her parents. One of his friends found out and told him. What does he do? How could she have a baby without him, what would she have put on the birth certificate? What are his rights. He is so upset and hurt.

    1. He should approach the mother and discuss the issue. If she does not want him to be part of the child’s life, we advise he approaches the children’s court in order to have contact with the child. The court would decide what is the best way to introduce him to the child’s life.

  19. Good day my name is thapelo from polokwane ,my partner has a son of which the mother refuse all sort of contact to ,we went to social workers they couldn’t help even opened a case but nothing help ,we want to see the son what should we do and the mother is difficult to deal with she always threatens the well-being of the child . help

  20. Hi, are there any rights that protects pregnant women?

    I’m 8 months pregnant and the baby father has been ubsent through the pregnancy, contributed nothing at all and only attended one doctor’s appointment.

    Will the father automatically have the rights to see the baby once it is here, or we’ll have equal rights? Even though he wasn’t supportive during pregnancy?

    1. Hi
      The rights would be acquired once the child is born. We presume you are not married to the father. Basically, if he supports the child since birth and is part of the child’s life, then he would acquire rights. You have full right to claim from him expenses incurred in the birthing etc. Also, consider using this link http://www.ourlaweyr.co.za/advice to set up a legal advice consultation.

  21. Hi my wife left to her hometown with my boy 6, and two girls 2 and 4 to Western Cape. We stayed I. She got lockdown there and WhatsApp ed me saying she’s not coming back. We originally based in Eastern Cape. Days before she left she took out a protection order for emotional and fiscal asbuse of which was false aligations and taken out so I can’t prevent her from leaving. Now shes been asking money and I’m supporting two house holds cos I was the sole bread winner and we are on speaking terms. What can I do about the the protection order? I have a date on 19th mei to go dispute it but she said she won’t be there. What rights do I have concerning my kids crying to come home everytime I speak to them on the phone? My son of six told me yesterday ” daddy I love you please hire a bus and come fetch us”. What’s my best solution for this situation since she is in a different province now and it out emotional strain on me and the poor kids I think she is chasing a FB love affair that’s near her hometown with some1 she met on FB but the lockdown obstructed her plans. I just want the kids stability back and the knowledge that I can keep them safe coz she is young (26) and don’t often decide in the kids best interest even when she left it was 3 days before lockdown putting them at risk of the virus but thank God they still healthy. I can do or say anything now cos she took out the temperally protection order under false accusation.

  22. Am a 36 yr old man who has a boy child with the other woman after the birth of a child i was denied to see my child am told that tge child is not mine therefore i cnt be able to see him,she opened a case to prevent me to see my child and the court order was granted but now after almost 10 yrs she claims that the child is actually mine n now i have got a family…what does the law say

  23. Good Day,

    I have a parental plan in place that allows me to see my kids every second weekend, religious holidays and birthdays etc.

    The problem I’m having is that my ex manipulates my kids in getting them to tell me that they don’t want to come to me on the weekends I have them and I have nothing to fight that. I have not seen my kids for close to 2 months now because she told me she will not be allowing the kids to come to me because of the corona virus and that she will be moving with the kids to her sister’s place and that was two weeks before the lockdown was announced.

    She continues to ignore the parental plan which states that important decisions should be made jointly. Am I wrong? Am I not understanding something here? It hurts when I do not get to see them and nothing helps to replace that sense of loss. I don’t know what to do and I am tired of trying to reason with her.

    Your advice would be greatly appreciated.

    1. Good day

      We presume the parenting plan is in terms of a Court Order. In that case, you need to enforce the Order. If it is not a court order or registered with the office of the family advocate, we advise you to have an attorney try to resolve this matter for you or approach the children’s court. Consider the link http://www.ourlawyer.co.za/advice.

  24. Hi I need help I have been supporting my child since birth so his mother decided on her own that his take my son to live with her mother in eastern cape now it been 2years since I haven’t seen or heard from my son now his mother is treating me that his going to take me to court for child support , because I decided to stop sending money or giving her money because I asked to bring my kid back to the country so I can see what I have been supporting coz I can’t keep on sending money buying clothes but I don’t see him wearing them or if that did right by him soo I really need help ……plz help

    1. Good day

      Pay child maintenance which is a legal obligation, and having contact with your child which is a right, are two separate issues. You need to approach the Court to enforce your right to contact while still paying.

  25. I am 16 and my mother keeps on doing everything to keep me and my brother away from my father. She does it every time. What can I do as a child as she keeps on sending police to my father even if he doesn’t do anything wrong. How can I help him we want to see each other

    1. Your father needs to enforce his rights of contact with you. You may approach a social worker in your area to assist be of assistance.

  26. Hi, I may be off the point a bit but I could really use some clarity, if you would help please.

    My kid’s mom and I have never been married or neither have we had to go to court for a custody agreement. Can I still go get my child while we’re in lockdown seeing as I have no legal documents? I’ve really been struggling to find anything on the net and I really Just wanna see my kid.

    Would Appreciate your help

    1. Good day
      We advise you contact the specific court where the kids and mother lives to determine how they are operating during lockdown.

  27. I’m married and my husband had a child out of wedlock and he has been sending money to the baby mama sometimes when he had picejobs and I also give him money to send them sometimes.im working and I want to send them money direct every month and put the child in our medical aid.wil I be wrong to ask the mother to give us the child to stay with us I have two children that are older than the child he got outside.

    1. Good day
      We cannot see why you may not ask the mother and discuss your wishes with her. But it would be for her to decide to agree with you or not. The end of the day it is what is best for the child. If it is best for her to keep caring for the child and your husband and you pay the child support the child; then that should happen. If your husband takes the matter to court, they too would decide what is best.

  28. Hi my husband is paying a maintenance of the child that he never see her in his life.he just know that the lady was pregnant when they separate but he never see the child,he only hear from friends that the child is there and this thing is starting to bring problem to our marriage because the money is going out and she’s in our medical but the child doesn’t even know the father.How can I help my husband

  29. Can the mother of my daughter keep me from seeing my daughter? We were never married but I am on my daughters birth certificate. The only reason why she won’t let me see her is because I haven’t been giving her money because I didn’t have a job. What can I do to legally see My daughter

  30. I’m a mother to a 5 year old boy I was staying with bby daddy for 8 years and we broke up 2017 so since then he was supporting our son just fine until 2019 September he stopped and he knows now am not working he keeps on sending me messages harrassing me I told him he won’t see my son until he maintains the child and I try everything to make sure my son is ok even though I’m unemployed now his busy telling I must wait to be summoned because he wants to see his son but I’m not comfortable of him leaving my son with his girlfriend should I notify the court of that if I get summoned?

    1. Good day

      A mother should have a very good reason for denying the father contact with his child. Such reason should be motivated by what is in the child’s best interest. The court will take all relevant factors into account.

  31. Hi, I would like to ask if it would be possible for me to have full custody of my child if I am able to get back on my feet again, I have been the bread winner until I lost my job and have cared for my child. I left my child and ex with my family (aunt) as something distrubing happened and my ex changed on me, making it difficult for me to explain why. I have ended up homeless and relocating to durban in efforts of getting a job again, to be able to support my child. I have raised her since birth until she was 1 years old. My ex won’t tell me her address for me to visit my daughter and niether gave me a number to call my daughter as well. I have been advised that she’s involved with someone else, and I would like to know if my child is safe with him. Do I have the right to know her address and about who my ex is involved with? I am being given the option of seeing my daughter in a mall area instead of a place I could spend quality time with her, or am I forced by law to see my child as she sees fit. I don’t want to involve a social worker as I don’t know the enviroment she’s in and if it will lead to my child being taken away from us both. I want to get a job first. I have proof of me paying child support and I have bank statements of me buying things at checkers for the house and my child, but didn’t keep the slips as I didn’t plan for this to happen and didn’t plan to end up homeless. I just want to know if I can raise my child by myself as I am a father with sober habbits and have no record of any kind. I am able to set a good example and have been staying in a safe house and moving to a family member to assist me get back on my feet. I am not completely homeless and have more potential of earning a higher income than the mother, meaning I can give her a more suitable enviroment to live in soon, would that help me to gain full custody?

    1. Good day. It is unfortunate that you are experiencing such difficulties in maintaining contact with your child. It would be advisable to approach the office of the Family Advocate where a parental plan will be drafted and entered into. If the parents cannot agree to the parental plan, then a court may have to be approached. The child’s best interest will be of paramount importance.

  32. my ex wife has been keeping my 6yr old son away from for the past 8months I cannot make any contact via whatsapp, face to face, video calling nothing at all…

    she blocked me off whatsapp, blocked me from calling her she even blocked my wife off whatsapp and calls….

    what rights do I have as I have a court order stateing that I can have my son every second weekend and half of school holidays…..

    1. Good day. If you are being unreasonably obstructed from exercising your rights of care and contact, you should get legal advice on ways to enforce the court order and your rights.

  33. My wife and I are seperated. One child lives with me and the other with her. We both are currently employed in different sectors. She government and I am In a private company. Am I still suppose to pay maintenance for the child not living with me? If yes… Does she have to pay maintenance for the child living with me? Or do we just look after who is living us?

    1. You would have to look at both parent’s income, expenses, and the costs of both children. For example, if one parent earns more than the other and spends less on maintaining the child living with him or her, he or she would have to contribute towards the other parent’s child expenses.

  34. Is a father required to pay maintenance even though the mother refuses unsupervised access to their 5 year old daughter? Unsupervised access is denied as the daughter complained of inappropriate touching at the age of 2. No maintenance plan is in order as court was avoided in fear of unsupervised access being granted to the father.

  35. How many times is the mother (primary care giver) allowed to make contact with the child under 3 and over years old? over a period of more than 2 days?

  36. Hi my wife of 10 years went to go visit family for a week, she phoned me a few days later saying that her and my girls are not coming back, there has never been any abuse or violence in our marriage. She is currently unemployed I have always been the bread winner in our family. What are my rights can she just take my kids away, all their belongings are still here, they should still be attending school here, as all this happened on the school holidays, and there is only 2 months left this term. I speak to my girls daily over the phone and my youngest one is depressed and heartsore and misses her daddy. What are my rights please assist, as it is urgent. Kind regards

  37. A man pays child support but never get to see his kids he stays in bloem and she moved to betlehem and now she want more money

  38. Hy please help, my baby mama denies me to see my child. As fo the matter of fact , everytime she would tell me that i should not bother myself asking hw is the baby is. We break up after the baby was two months. But she tells me that the baby needs clothes ect… nd i try all my best to do something for the bby as im unemployed. But when i ask her to bring the bby she never dd.

  39. I have a 3 months old baby and the mother refuses to let me see the child and she also doesn’t want me to contribute towards his upbringing. I was only allowed to send her money for the first 2 months and then she said I was not the father but I pushed until we did the DNA which confirms I was the father. The problem is she is now living with a new man and has she has introduced the child to her new boyfriend and she is threatening to take the child to her boyfriend s place which I don’t know. Please advise me.

  40. I am currently married. My wife forced me out the house due to accusations of an affair which did not occur.
    We are still married yet she only lets me see our daughter on her terms and her times.
    There are days that I don’t see my daughter. When I do see my daughter my wife dictates the duration of time I get to be with my daughter.

    No court/divorce order has been issued to me. I only received a typed out email from a her lawyer (no attachment or formal document) stating the instructions to which I must follow regarding communication with my wife and visitation rights of our daughter.

    I am confused on how to handle the situation. I would rather make things work with my wife. But she does not want to talk to me.

    My daughter cries when she sees me because she misses me so much and she begs me to stay and not leave.
    I want to see my daughter more often, but how?
    Is my wife event allowed to do this?

    1. Good day
      We advise you to approach an attorney to assist you in resolving the issues. Both parents must act in the child’s best interests. If the mother does not have good reasons for her conduct, then the court should step in. Her lawyer believes she is justified it seems.

  41. Good morning

    On the 12th July 2019, I got a WhatsApp text at 08:H50 notifying me that my ex girlfriend gave birth on the 11th July 2019. I asked for a picture and you never sent me any.

    As pumped and excited as I was I then called my mother to let her know that she was going to be a granny. Immediately after the phone call with my mother I then called my Manager at 09:00 to request permission to leave the office so that I could drive to Witbank to see my daughter. I was in North Riding one of Randburg’s suburb the time I made the request.

    I called about 5 to 6 times as I was about to leave the office and she didn’t pick up any of my calls. When I got to Mall of Africa for a quick stop to buy something for “my daughter” I then decided to send an SMS at 09:50 which read
    “Which hospital are you? I’m on my way”

    I received an SMS at 09:59 which read
    “Don’t come Jabulani” just as I was about to pay for the clothes and basics necessities of a child since I didn’t think it was wise or sound minded for the “father” to show up empty handed.

    As scarred as I was having to leave the trolley at the checkout or till counter I then called you again asking for an explanation as to why she didn’t want me to come. Her response was “Why do I want to come” as stupid as that response was, I tried to reason with her by asking why couldn’t she put aside her sudden hate for and allow me to see “my daughter”. The response I got, if we can even call it that, was vague.

    I sent her a WhatsApp text at 10:23 as I got home of which she didn’t bother responding to but instead she then deleted or blocked my phone numbers, because all of a sudden her WhatsApp profile picture went blank.

    As painful as it was having to make the decision, I then decided that I’ll exonerate myself from taking any responsibility which was to come with raising the child.

    That means no paying for damages or maintaining the child, because the way you were acting towards me I clearly couldn’t be your baby’s father.

    Does she have a case trying to take me to court for alimony despite her attitude towards my attempts of reaching out to her?

    1. Good day

      No matter the issue between the mother and father of a child, both parents have a legal duty to support the child. Even if a parent does not have contact with the child. If the parent wants contact, that parent must approach the court.

  42. On the 12th July 2019, I got a WhatsApp text at 08:H50 notifying me that my ex girlfriend gave birth on the 11th July 2019. I asked for a picture and you never sent me any.

    As pumped and excited as I was I then called my mother to let her know that she was going to be a granny. Immediately after the phone call with my mother I then called my Manager at 09:00 to request permission to leave the office so that I could drive to Witbank to see my daughter. I was in North Riding one of Randburg’s suburb the time I made the request.

    I called about 5 to 6 times as I was about to leave the office and she didn’t pick up any of my calls. When I got to Mall of Africa for a quick stop to buy something for “my daughter” I then decided to send an SMS at 09:50 which read
    “Which hospital are you? I’m on my way”

    I received an SMS at 09:59 which read
    “Don’t come Jabulani” just as I was about to pay for the clothes and basics necessities of a child since I didn’t think it was wise or sound minded for the “father” to show up empty handed.

    As scarred as I was having to leave the trolley at the checkout or till counter I then called you again asking for an explanation as to why she didn’t want me to come. Her response was “Why do I want to come” as stupid as that response was, I tried to reason with her by asking why couldn’t she put aside her sudden hate for and allow me to see “my daughter”. The response I got, if we can even call it that, was vague.

    I sent her a WhatsApp text at 10:23 as I got home of which she didn’t bother responding to but instead she then deleted or blocked my phone numbers, because all of a sudden her WhatsApp profile picture went blank.

    As painful as it was having to make the decision, I then decided that I’ll exonerate myself from taking any responsibility which was to come with raising the child.

    That means no paying for damages or maintaining the child, because the way you were acting towards me I clearly couldn’t be your baby’s father.

    Does she have a case trying to take me to court for alimony despite her attitude towards my attempts of reaching out to her?

  43. Good evening
    My son is 2months old. I don’t have work but I stay with my parents who provide for me and my baby. The father of my baby is not staying with us. He doesn’t help with milk, nappies or any money for the baby’s Dr visits but he wants to see his child and tell me how to raise my son. When I was pregnant with my baby he did send me messages that he hope I will have a miscarriage, he wasn’t ready for a baby but now he wants to be in our lives and I don’t want him back. Can he take my child away from me? Can I refuse him to come to my house? Please help?
    Thank you.

    1. Good day
      He cant take the child away from you. Both parents will have to act in the child’s best interests. If it best for the child to know its day, then that should happen. We advise that you urgently speak to a social worker to advise you what is best to do under these facts.

  44. Good day

    I was customarily married for 5 years to the father of my child because he was cheating on me I decided to leave with my 2 years child by then. He is maintaining the child but he hardly visit the child, he comes to see the child once in a year and whenever he comes he takes my child to his girlfriend. Now the child is 7 years. My child is forced to call his girlfriend Mom. Does the law support this please help because my child is confused!

    1. Good day

      The law looks at what is best for the child. If you feel that his conduct is not in the child’s best interests, you may consider approaching the children’s court for assistance.

  45. Good day, I am 9 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend of 4 years asked me to get an abortion because he is not ready for a child of which I refused since it is against my believes. I have made it very clear to him that I am keeping the baby and I don`t need anything from him. I want to know what can I do to protect my rights at a later stage when he decides to change his mind. This has hurt me and scarred so much, I don`t think I want him to even see the child. I will be raising this child alone so will the law protect me at a later stage? or will he be allowed to just walk in after years and claim his rights as a father when he made it very clear that he does not want the child. Please help

    1. Good day
      Unmarried fathers don’t have automatic parental rights. Basically, they need to be involved or try to be involved in the child’s life to obtain rights. The law, however, looks at what is best for the child. So should the father at a later stage want to get involved, the law would need to decide if it is in the child’s best interest.

  46. Hi there I just need to know where I stand… Okay I’m a single dad where the mother of my child left me for my best friend.. We had a arrangement how we going to work with the visitation om my 1 and half year old boy… I’ve asked to put my kid in school and we had a agreement that I see him every 2nd weekend then the 13dec I got a msg they going on holiday and taking my kid with and I asked will I see him for Christmas. Mother reply was no they on holiday.. Then when school started I payed school fees and then figured out my son not at school I went to the school and the teacher told me the grandmother took him out of school permanently. That’s when I msged my ex and asked she said they moving to Balito and I said what about my son and she said it best for his health… When I asked when can I see him she always said she’s broke.. I’ve sent emails for over 3months and no response when I can see my kid the never went on holiday the moved… Without me knowing he’s out of school or the move… Then they moved back… And I came up with a agreement again and started paying again for school fees and his needs then she broke our agreement we had on paper between me and her by taking my son out of school and she went away with her boyfriend and left my son with the grandmother and I wanted to go fetch him I had the police with me to fetch my son but they still denied my son keeping him away from me. I just need to know as I’ve been paying his school fees and milk and diepers as we discussed in our agreement that she bridge. Where do I stand with my rights.?

    1. Good day
      You have rights to your child. We advise you to approach the children’s court where the child lives for a contact and visitation order.

  47. I am was in relationship with the father of my 7 year old son, he left us when he was 1 year old . He is not visiting nor calling the child.
    He is the only one who got access to phone us …. He is ignoring our phone calls telling me he couldn’t answer because his partner was there and she normal answers his phone (to clarify this … I once called him and she answered ….don’t remember the axact date but was early Nov … stating that I must back off and now my lane.)
    He came and I told him, then he says I must stop calling, sms’ing because it one of the reason why he not coming to visit our son.

    He comes over to my place after 3-4 months randomly, unannounced and empty handed.

    His not contacting our Son .So I gave him the advantage of defined contact ( 7 PM ) maybe twice a week so that he can plan ahead but he disagree , telling me he can do whatever he likes , I can’t tell him when and where to do what. I tried to provide him with certainty and routine for the child.
    He continue calling late normally after 9: PM or even at 22:00 that is when I decided not to answer my son’s phone.
    He cannot agree on parenting plan which I propose. i. e lack of communicating on a regular basis with the child in person by telephone or Skyper.

    Now he went to court saying i am denying him an access for his child .
    Please advice

  48. Good I have a problem here I once bet the Mather of my child and it’s not thing which m proud of.and yet she doesn’t want to see my child and release to visit me.and I want to do and a educational plan for my child.but I can due she refuses to fix our child birth certificate.and have my name on it

  49. Hi there
    I have a 1yr old boy whose mother and I have been at each other’s throats but came to an understanding despite being sent to court for maintainance. I’ve sent the child some necessities during the holidays and that was on my birthday, so that he can go see his grandparents in Lesotho which he does not have a passport for. Other thing is visitation rights, I only see him when I’m off from work with the supervision of his mother but would like it if she would allow me access with my child for several hours and then sent back to her. How do I get that access to be granted?

  50. Good Day

    Is it possible for me to see my child?

    I was in a relationship with my child’s mother for 13 years and than she got pregnant and things changed she left me.

    Now she refuses to let me see my child…Please assist me on how to go about this situation …

    I really want a bond with my child but how can I ?

    I have tried to go there ask him for a day and he would smile and than she would touch me and say no he won’t go

    Please help his only 8 yrs old and I don’t want him to think that I don’t wanna spend time with him

    1. Good day
      We advise that you approach the Children’s Court in the area where the mother and child live for visitation rights. Otherwise, it would be best you speak to a lawyer to take your case on.

  51. Good Morning

    I left my partner of 7 years our daughter is 5 and I dont want him to see her unsupervised at this point possibly ever. He was abusive physically and emotionally he is also bipolar and does not take his meds along with abusing alcohol.
    Do I have a right to withhold visitation?

    1. Good morning
      You must act in your child’s best interests. We advise that you approach a social worker urgently on this issue for advice or approach the children’s court. We would not want to advise on such a serious issue which affects parents responsibilities and rights.

  52. Hi.

    I need some advise. I got maried and had a child at 21 and took care of them for 4 years. We devorced and she moved to.South Africa while I was in Namibie. I was broken with depression when I find out she moved on in 4 months. I made an impulsive dissition to send her a message that.I will not be involved in their lives anymore. I was broke and depressed for almost 2 years. I finally got better and decided that what I was doing was wrong. I engaged with my ex wife and pleaded for a year to get back in my childs life. She wanted the outstanding maintanance but couldnt affored it. We privatly came to a conclusion of 20000 for reconsiliation and I can only pay 2500 per month at most. That should incl everyrhing. She agreed and said for the year 2018 she will allow me to do so but 2019 she will raise the price to the correct number. Well I have stayed true to our agreement and even safed up to vissit my child 2000km away from me once. Now the year isnt over, and she and her boyfriend wants more money. Her boyfriend pays alot of my childs expenses and my exwife continue to keep it against me. She doesnt ask my concent whenever she buys things to see if I can chip in. She just buy and send a message of what I should pay. She have been promiseing me a year that she will send slips of the expenses of my child but she doesnt. Now they refuse me to talk to my child. We had an agreement of skype because she is so far away but now they refuse any contact. If my exwife didnt have this boyfriend she wouldnt have been able to take care of my child. Are the boyfriend allowed to cut any contact with my child? I have moved to Capetown and they are in Mpumalanga. What can I do if I cant affored to go to their childrens court.


    1. Good day

      See that the child lives in Mpumalanga, you need to approach the Court there. The other option is to get a lawyer to assist, but that would also cost and you may still need to go to court.

  53. Good day, my son was in a relationship for 2 years, the girl cheat on him and disappear, she send him a message that she is 12 weeks pregnant and she is 100% sure he is the father. The baby is born now and he would like to do some DNA test, the girl refuse to do the test, she say she want nothing from him. Do she have the right to refuse to do such test.

    1. Good day
      She can refuse such a test. He may, however, approach the Court to force her to do the test with the child. The Court would decide what is best for the child.

  54. My daughter’s father should he win the case if he do protectin order when he don’t look after her child when he left me while am pregnant? Also am orphan

  55. I am not in a relationship with the mother of my minor child (son/3 yrs old now in 2018). For at least a period of 3 months in 2015 I’ve been providing for the child by way of asking the maternal grandmother (since she is the one taking care of the child on a daily basis because the mother of my child is attending school in Bloemfontein 300km away from the primary residence of the child) of my son to list the needs of the child on a monthly basis and then I will deliver as per list. This came to an end when I was summoned to appear at a local court for Maintenance of the child. I was in attendance and they requested R2000 Maintenance and eventually I was ordered to pay at least R1000 considering the needs of the child. What shocked me is the fact that all along I was under the impression that the child stays with the maternal grandmother at the local residence as stated on the file hence local court had jurisdiction as indicated.
    1. I was wrong the child have a passport and stays in Lesotho.
    2. My personal details are not reflecting on the child’s Unabridged Birth Certificate.
    3. My consent was never required when the minor child cross the borders to Lesotho despite the law/rules introduced by The Dept of Home Affair as of 1 June 2015.
    4 . Every time I wished to fetch the child I had to wait for him at the Port of Entry (The South African side”.
    5. Because the child is accompanied by the grand-mother the latter has to produce Parental Consent Affidavit (Valid for 6 months) every time I come to fetch the child.
    6. Last week I informed them timeously that I am coming this week to fetch the child and I was told that Parental Consent Affidavit has expired and the Mother is still at school (Is that supposed to be my problem because I was never consulted in the first place that the child will or stays in Lesotho).
    7. I took the child’s ID number to SASSA and my finding was that the child is a beneficiary of Child Support Grant despite me paying for his Maintenance as per Court Order.
    8. The worst part , Maintenance Order points the Grand mother as the applicant ,fair enough, however bank details are those of the mother of my child in which I am supposed to deposit the money.(is this really permissible in terms of the law)

    I’ll appreciate your advice.

    Thank you.

    1. We advise that you approach the Children’s Court for a Contact and Care Order regarding your child. However, if the child lives in Lesotho, you may have to approach the Court that side.

  56. I worked out the country 4 months, wife had control of finances and upon return found effectively nothing left of probable 50-60k. Upon trying to find answers got slapped with restraining order. This effectively put me ppennyless on street after providing for 18 years.

    Being homeless I failed to defend restraining order and it became permanent (note for verbal/emotional abuse-nothing physical and zero previous history).

    Now she has left province after me being forced out on street by her actions, claiming “abandonment” and refusing me any contact with the minors. She lives with sister (husband is lawyer/advocate) 1400km away, having ensured an unfair advantage in future proceedings.

    Having effectively bankrupt me and demoted me unemployed due to finances, I am left penniless and zero contact, though omnidirectional plenty attempts to contact has been made. It is essentially 5months with no contact, even the school where children are denies their presence.

    What can I do to reestablish contact from so far, and what can be done. PO says nothing about not being able to contact children.?

    At what point will I commit a crime?
    Would her refusing contact become a crime?
    What becomes of the children’s right to contact with their biological, still married father?
    When and how can my rights be enforced, even though unemployed?
    On what grounds will she be able to exclude my rights?
    Where and how do I go about getting legal assistance due to temporary unemployed state?

    Thank you

    1. Your situation is unfortunate. Seeing that the children is so far away, she is making it difficult to enforce your rights. You should however approach the children’s court where she and the children are residing. A local court may not have jurisdiction. Pop them a call and see what they say. But act fast.

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