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How do I get full custody over my child? Cape Town South Africa

ByOur Lawyer

How do I get full custody over my child? Cape Town South Africa

Assistance on how to obtain contact, custody or visitation to your child

advice-child-maintenance-child-custody-divorceParents have an inherent right and duty to form part of their child’s lives. Here we refer to parental rights and responsibilities.  However, it often happens that parents of a child cannot see eye to eye as to what is in their child’s best interests. More often than not, when parents are divorced, separated, or not living together, issues arise regarding the children they share. And then there is the case where parents want full custody over their children.

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These issues may range from the amount of contact the other parent may have, the school the child may attend, or what extra-mural activities the child should pursue. Either way, should parents not be on the same page, outside help may be required. Read on to find out more about the law, factors and your rights.

What are Parental Responsibilities and rights to a child?

The terms used to refer to the rights and responsibilities of parents to their children are referred to as “parental responsibilities and rights”. Parental responsibilities and rights are defined in the Children’s Act.

Section 18 of the Children’s Act of 38 2005 (the Children’s Act) states the following:
18. (1) A person may have either full or specific parental responsibilities and rights in respect of a child.
(2) The parental responsibilities and rights that a person may have in respect of a
child, include the responsibility and the right-
(a) to care for the child;
(b) to maintain contact with the child;
(c) to act as guardian of the child; and
(d) to contribute to the maintenance of the child.

When to enter into a Parenting Plans?

Not going into too much detail, all parents of children should by default have certain parental responsibilities and rights to their children. It often happens that parents who are co-holders of parental responsibilities and rights, are unable to agree on how their rights should be exercised. Should that happen, then according to section 33 and 34 of the Children’s Act, they should try to agree on a parenting plan.

Basically, they should see an expert like a social worker, or psychiatrist to assist them in resolving the issues they have. As long as the person is suitably qualified, they may make use of their services. They may even approach the Office of the Family Advocate. Should all go well, a parenting plan would be drafted and entered into. This parenting plan may either be registered with the Office of the Family Advocate, or made an Order of Court.

When to approach the Child Custody Court?

If parents cannot agree on a parenting plan, then a court may have to be approached. Usually they would approach the High Court, or the Children’s Court in their area of residence. In South Africa, one does not have to make use of legal representation. In other words, you may represent yourself in Court. Many times, you do not have a choice as you cannot afford legal representation.

What is the Children’s Court?

Each magisterial area has a children’s court dealing with Children’s matters. The Children’s Court would be best suited for parents who would prefer to conduct their own case. When you approach the children’s court, they provide you with forms to fill in. They would basically assist you with the process. They will issue a summons / notice to the other parent to appear at Court. Many attorneys also make use of the Children’s Court, as opposed to the High Court, when enforcing their client’s parental responsibilities and rights.

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What is the High Court?

advice-child-maintenance-child-custody-divorceEach province has a High Court. The Court procedure in the High Court is much more complicated than that of the Children’s Court. If you can afford an attorney,  and an advocate, they the High Court is another option. Specific documentation needs to be drafted. One is called a Notice of Motion, and the other, a founding Affidavit.

What are the serious parental issues the Court looks at?

There are various pertinent issues the court looks at when deciding how contact or visitation should be exercised. Each case is unique. In this article, we will list factors that may limit your exercising of your parental right of contact or care. They are:

Child Abuse

  • Child abuse is have many facets. It is not only physical, but psychological and emotional a swell.

Unfit parenting

  •  Not all parents are fit enough to care for a child primarily. This is especially so if there is a history of irresponsible parenting.

Living Conditions

  • The law in no way discriminates against parents based on their living conditions. However, it is a factor to consider in Child Custody Cases.

Psychiatric disorders

  • Psychiatric disorders in many cases plays a role in deciding how care and contact should be exercised. If the condition is bad, a court would have to factor it in when making its decision.

How does the Court come to its decision?

advice-child-maintenance-child-custody-divorceThe Court (Children’s Court as well as the High Court) would listen to both parents, and any expert appointment. Usually the expert would provide a report. Many times, they are the office of the family advocate or a state appointed social worker. After looking at, and hearing everything, the court would make a decision based on what is in the child’s best interest.

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76 comments so far

Mark BurgerPosted on5:11 am - Oct 23, 2017

I have been living with my gf for a few years. We have a son of 4. Lately she has been going out with friends after work and the past few weeks has been comming home at around 3 “and 4 in the morning and once just after 6 am after she told me she was working a function at a beer fest that ended 10pm the previous night. When I asked her about it she told me they finished late and just this morning when I confronted her she said they went to get something to eat the thing that bothers me most is that meal took 8 hours She has never given me reasons as to why she comes home late except for last night saying it was a colleagues farewell but on a Sunday places close at midnight. I suspect she is cheating I also have found marijuana in her draw pack in a tin contains that at first she denied. I cant live like this anymore and I will not allow this to go on around my son. I read her watsapp messages one time and I never had much time to read the messages but there where a few messages that I found disturbing. Ok ne about come over and have a line. Her so called work times are ridiculous and does not correspond with her previous work times. She attacks me one night when I was trying to play with her she grabbed my finger and twisted it and I also done the same back to her. For two days she wrapped her hand in a bandage and after that she was fine. Even went as far as carrying a plate if food with the same hand. Apparently she opened a case against me. Well I have not been approached by any social worker policeman or any government official months later she is always undermining my authority with my son. When I scold him or when I tell him to behave or go sleep and so on. She accuses me of abusing him with false accusations that my family members tell her. I have requested that we take him to a counsellor or child physiologist for evaluation by once again its all hit air. I love my son and his mom but I cant allow this to continue like this. I want to get us both away from her negligent new lifestyle and her psychological games. Please help! Sincerely Mark Burger

Fourie GrovePosted on10:07 pm - Jan 6, 2018

Hi. I need some advise. I’m a South African and my wife is from Philippians. We have been married 4 and a half years now. We have a son and he is 3 and half years old. He has a South African passport. My wife only recently told me that she is not happy anymore. She also after being married almost 5 years told me that she has 4 other children in the Philippians. She basically ran away and left them where the dads had to take care of them. I was shocked. 3 of them don’t want anything to do with her at all as she abandoned then as small children but the oldest only recently made contact with her. If she leaves me, who will get custody over our little guy? I love him to bits and he is a real daddy boy. Please advise as I’m afraid that one day she might get fed up and leave him as well.

    NobaPosted on5:30 am - Feb 15, 2018

    Hi there,
    Look I don’t know you or your family but I can tell you still love your wife and that so good. When I read your story I think she must be unhappy because of the love she has for the 3 kids she’s left behind witch women would be, forgive her for lying and see how you can reunite those three kids with they mom so you all can all be a family. I’m sorry if I said anything that u don’t want to hear. You and your wife a one, divorce is not an option. God bless your family.

AngiePosted on11:34 am - Jan 10, 2018

Good day

My Fiance and my self is currently in a situation with his ex wife , he has two boys with her the one is 9 and the other one is 4 both the boys has been traumatised by the mother on a regular basis as she is bipolar she is taking tablets however she still has fights with her family and always phoning their father and telling him that he must come and take his children as she cannot take care of them he warned her a couple of times that if she is going to carry on like this that we would take the children from them as it is not healthy for them to be in that kind of situations well that’s what happened she kept on pushing to the point that the boys was crying to their father to come and fetch them its really breaking our hearts and we will do what ever it takes to get full custody of the boys so that they can grow up in a peaceful home with love and care and no emotional abuse what can we do from here on forward. Please advice urgently

MoniquePosted on3:17 pm - Feb 17, 2018

Good day. Im from South Africa. I have a question. I have a son turning 9. The dad pays maintenance yes. But usually he doesnt ask to see him his parents does. We moved last year April. And i want to move back from where i came from. We were never married. Am i allowed to do that. I dont have anyone in my life and i love him dearly along with my twins. Im so scared that he’ll try and take him away from me. And i cant bear the thought of losing my son. Please help

zeePosted on9:07 am - Feb 23, 2018

Hi there i am sitting with a huge problem i was married for 11 years and me and my husband has been together for 15 years however he accuses me of cheating today just because i spoke to a guy i fell pregnant with our fourth child but one died when i was 5 months pregnant he threw me and my kids out of his mothers house i took our clothes and wen to my mother however he didnt even leave me with a teaspoon or a bed. Since he threw me out he started sleeping out during the week and weekends as well. he left me when my baby was one month old we were married muslim rights today he willingly proud to sleep by his new gf and he supports he and her kids and expects my kids to wear her kids second hands clothes little did i know that he had been seen her long time. he made my name so bad i eventually gave him on for maintenance where he didnt pitch up for court every time he takes my kids or send someone to fetch my two kids without telling me or my mother as he is saying my baby isnt his i have rules during the week and he just rocks up and takes them like he wants which i dont think is fair. he doesnt spend anytime with my kids especially his off days and weekends because he need to see to his gf and her two kids my question is can i do something to stop him from taking my kids because he drinks and smoke dagga infron of my kids and forces them to call his gf mommy now he threatens me to say his going to take them away from me and put them in by his gfs kids school i am the only one working for my kids i cannot afford a lawyer my kids are unsafe with him what should i do to stop him and can i sue him if the paternity test comes back for defermation of character? please advise further thank you

jessPosted on8:42 pm - Feb 23, 2018

Hi there i have a question if you can help that would be great, The father pays maintenance thanks to the court order, his only seen his child about 6 times since she has been born and barely any phone calls from him to her, he makes sure his mails states “what a great father he is for paying maintenance and how he wants to be in her life” but he does not really try as i said not that many phone call maybe 2 or 3 calls in the last 3 years. My question is, is there a way to take his parental rights away from him?

    Our LawyerPosted on2:14 pm - Feb 27, 2018

    The court would need to see if it would be in the child’s best interest to take the father’s parental responsibilities and rights away from him. We suggest you speak to a social worker to determine if it would indeed be in her best interests. The Courts listens to what the experts says.

MizzVPosted on2:59 pm - Feb 28, 2018

Hi there, I need advice please. I am currently 7 month pregnant. The father of my child wants nothing to do with our child. I will not be putting his name on the birth certificate. He said that he would like to sign over his rights as a parent and I have been told that I would have to have proof that I have full custody over my child when I register his birth. Is this true and how do I go about getting him to sign over his rights ?

RaziaPosted on8:41 am - Mar 4, 2018

Good day

I would like to set up an urgent consultation with Adv Muhammad AbdulRoaf. Its a maintenance matter that’s being delayed unnecessarily and affecting my kids emotionally. Require urgent assistance. Please contact me.

DamentiPosted on8:51 pm - Mar 6, 2018

Hi please help. My daughter needs to be enrolled in grade 1. And unfortunately I was told that I can’t because I need her father Identity document number. He hasn’t been apart of our lives. Neither has he paid maintenance or made an attempt to be in her life. Yet I tried countless trying to get him to come and see her. I need to know how do I go about getting his document because he wouldn’t give it to me. And also I need him to sign over all his legal rights regarding her. Please help. Thank you

richadPosted on7:32 pm - Mar 7, 2018

Hi i had a gf few years ago we end up having a daughter, the mother started having an afair with sum1 else afta my daughter turned 2 so i moved out, that very same day the bf moved in. They r married today and shes got her 4th child now from 4 diffrent men, her 2nd child’s father took him in custody and she cant even look proper after the 1st born, now i need my child in my custody coz theres no way in hell she can luk afta a child, now she took me to court for 1800r maintenance i can never give her that money i’ d rather luk afta my own child, plz tell me what am i to do and who can i see regarding my situation

    Our LawyerPosted on3:43 pm - Mar 11, 2018

    Try to see if you can get a social worker to mediate the issue. If that is not possible, then we advise you approach the Childrne’s Court in the area where the child/mother stays.

mrs gPosted on10:47 am - Mar 12, 2018

I have girl child aged 3 her father pay maintain her with R750 a month he gets to take her on Sundays for the day only after he drops her of he always send me messages like our little girl told him I hit her this is not true I left him because he used to assault me during my pregnancy I love my bby a lot I don’t do such things she is my gem what can I do pls help me

ShereePosted on6:37 am - Mar 17, 2018

Hi. Im in.desperate need of help I dont know what to do anymore. I had my daughter at a young age, at that time i myself wasnt registered i only managed to get myself registered at age 23. When my daughter was 3 months old i.got her birth certificate in the mail and turned out her grandmother (mother of father) somehow registered her. When.i got myself registered i went to see how my daughter was registered because as to my knowledge a child can not be registered without both parents details. I got denied because as to records im not my daughters mother. My daughter is now 11 her biological fathers refused to fix the details and to come sign. Last time he saw her she was 3 years old. When she turned 5 and had to start schooling i asked for help on maintenance and i was told he would rather sign away his rights than pay. I offered accomodation and to pay his flight just so he could do this. 6 years later he has two other daughters and hes running from those mothers too. His family is of no help they help keep him hidden from us. Ive been to home affairs numourous times. Ive been to childrens court with no help. I really need help on what to do and how to get him off my daighters nae as he has no part in any of her life yet the law isnt of much help.

    Our LawyerPosted on8:25 pm - Mar 17, 2018

    Good day

    We would have advised you to go the the children’s court. But you said you have already done that. The best would then be to appoint an attorney to take this matter further. The attorney may decide to approach the high court should it need be.

SmakadePosted on5:25 pm - Mar 20, 2018

Hi, I have made two women pregnant at the same time, they are both 7 months pregnant. Having kids was something that was long overdue but not with these two women. A person who reads this can make his/her judgments I’m ok with it. My real concerned is how I go about having custody of these two coming babies. Because If I don’t stay with both of them I will end up being loyal to one and fail to give them equal love. I forget to mention that of these two women are unemployed and unemployable because of their level of education. The other woman her first child is supported with maintenance plan

    Our LawyerPosted on6:20 pm - Mar 26, 2018

    Good day

    After the children are born, you can approach the children’s court for advise and / or apply for custody. The court would have to decide if it is best for the children to be cared by you.

Pieter de KlerkPosted on1:18 pm - Mar 22, 2018

Good Afternoon
Need some advice i am Divorced father of 2 i pay my Maintenance on time every month i call my kids every morning and night. i see them every 2nd weekend like on the court order me and my Ex have agreed verbally that my older son can do some exercise classes twice a week which in take both of them so i can spend some time with my younger kid as well and then i used to take them to school in the morning packing them lunch on Tuesday and Thursdays. But because i have removed my Ex from my medical aid which we have been divorced for 2 years now she is refusing all the contact only allowing what the court order says. i want to change this because the court order says Joint Custody i want more contact with my kids
regards

AnonPosted on10:29 am - Mar 26, 2018

Hi. I am looking for advise. I have a close family member who is having issues with his daughter’s mom. The daughter currently lives with her mom and there arrangement seemed to work well. She has recently confided in the father and told him her boyfriend abuses her in front of the daughter. He also knows that they often consume alcohol. Having come from an abusive home, this has upset him greatly and does not want his daughter exposed to this life and would like to obtain custody. What is the process of this?

    Our LawyerPosted on6:04 pm - Mar 26, 2018

    Good day

    Your friend would have to approach the court and make an application for custody. If it is in the child’s best interests, the court would grant such an order.

CarmenPosted on5:07 am - Mar 28, 2018

Good Morning

My ex had a parenting drafted by his Attorney in 2015. I refused to agree and sign the plan, but eventually ended up signing the plan. At the time I relocated to another Province due to work obligations. I then recieved a notice to appear in court, but failed to do so as I could not get off from work and travel to the Province where said court is located. I never recieved any documentation notifying me that the parenting plan was made an order of court. How do I now go about to find out if the parenting plan was made an order of court.

CarmenPosted on5:09 am - Mar 28, 2018

Good Morning

My ex had a parenting drafted by his Attorney in 2015. I refused to agree and sign the plan, but eventually ended up signing the plan. At the time I relocated to another Province due to work obligations. I then recieved a notice to appear in court, but failed to do so as I could not get off from work and travel to the Province where said court is located. I never recieved any documentation notifying me that the parenting plan was made an order of court. How do I now go about to find out if the parenting plan was made an order of court.

DineoPosted on4:48 pm - Apr 2, 2018

Good day.

I have an 8month old baby boy with a man whom im not married too, our relationship has come to an end but i just realised that ever since i fell pregnant he has been planning to try and take my child away from me and rule me as an unfit mother.

… last yr he has been trying to get custody of her daughter and was constantly telling me how her ex wife is unfit to take care of her child and how he needs me to help him take care of this child and get information from the child to use against the mother, when i gave birth i registered my son under his surname as he was taking care of me and our child by then…but as time went he didnt want me to have access to my sons birth certificate or contribute anything towards my son…he doesnt even want me to find a helper or take my son to a daycare while im at work he wants his son to be raised at his mothers house which is miles away for me to go see my son on a regular.

When my son is at his i only grt to see him twice a month sometimes once due to the distance and the amount of money i spend to travel there.

Ive tried getting him to change my sons surname as damages according to our culture were not paid nor did he contribute any form of lobola.

He does contribute and maintain his child however i feel threatened by him because i know what he did to his ex wife he’s capable of doing to me and what makes it worse he uses the fact that he’s got a lawyer get to me.

Please help me because he is trying to take my child away from me and is refusing to write or complete the concent form for me to get a change in surname.

I really need help theres a lot more i could disclose but due to confidentiality i have to disclose more information in the presence of a lawyer.

PreciousPosted on4:50 pm - Apr 2, 2018

Good day.

I have an 8month old baby boy with a man whom im not married too, our relationship has come to an end but i just realised that ever since i fell pregnant he has been planning to try and take my child away from me and rule me as an unfit mother.

… last yr he has been trying to get custody of her daughter and was constantly telling me how her ex wife is unfit to take care of her child and how he needs me to help him take care of this child and get information from the child to use against the mother, when i gave birth i registered my son under his surname as he was taking care of me and our child by then…but as time went he didnt want me to have access to my sons birth certificate or contribute anything towards my son…he doesnt even want me to find a helper or take my son to a daycare while im at work he wants his son to be raised at his mothers house which is miles away for me to go see my son on a regular.

When my son is at his i only grt to see him twice a month sometimes once due to the distance and the amount of money i spend to travel there.

Ive tried getting him to change my sons surname as damages according to our culture were not paid nor did he contribute any form of lobola.

He does contribute and maintain his child however i feel threatened by him because i know what he did to his ex wife he’s capable of doing to me and what makes it worse he uses the fact that he’s got a lawyer get to me.

Please help me because he is trying to take my child away from me and is refusing to write or complete the concent form for me to get a change in surname.

I really need help theres a lot more i could disclose but due to confidentiality i have to disclose more information in the presence of a lawyer.

EmmaPosted on7:52 pm - Apr 2, 2018

Hi. I’m being summoned to the family court by my ex. He’s summoned me for care and contact of one daughter. He denied his second child with me. What are my rights? Will he be allowed to take the kids?

Estelle GainesPosted on12:31 pm - Apr 9, 2018

Good Day,

My ex and I split up 11years ago, and share a daughter. He was an absent father, with few visits in the first 7years of her life. He has also never paid maintenance for her since we split when she was 10months old. He dissapeared and moved back to the Netherlands when she was 7yrs old and stopped contacting her. I made contact with him again and asked that he please play a part in her life, even if it was just communication..which is does on and off and on his terms. The problem is, after asking him various times to please give me a letter so that I can apply for her passport so that we can travel overseas together, he refuses. How do I go about getting the passport issue sorted? Please help

StuartPosted on9:22 am - Apr 18, 2018

Good day. I have been divorced for 5 years where my ex wife has custody of my two children. Last year I received a phone call from my ex father in law stating that they are having a problem “handling” my son who was 11 at the time and suggested that he comes and stays with me. After I had spoken to my son and leaving the dicision to him as to where he would like to stay, he decided to come stay with me. I then took “custody” of my son at the beginning of the year, put him in an afikaans school where he has really fitted in and is doing well. Last night I received a whatsapp message from my ex stating that she wants him back and is booking a ticket at the end of the month. This has put my son in an emotional turmoil. My ex and I agreed that he would finish his primary schooling with me and rhen decide whether he wants ro continue his schooling with me or go back to her. I need advice please because I feel that what she has done now is so unfair on my son. Thank you.

    Our LawyerPosted on3:47 pm - Apr 18, 2018

    We advise that you make an Application to Court for the variation of the Divorce Order granting Custody to you. The Court would decide as to what is best for the child.

JacobPosted on9:44 am - Apr 19, 2018

Good day. I got divorced many years ago , custody to my son’s mother. Since he was 3 years old he always mentions that he does not want to stay with his mother. When my son turned 10 years old , I approached my Lawyer and everything was done correctly to approach the Family advocate. I had affidavits from various people , some from her personal friends , even one from his school teacher stating that he would be better off with me because of her total unstable life stile. The Advocate or welfare person ( Female ) consulted with him , in the presence of the mother , and then the decision was made that he must stay with his mother. I do not understand. I provided proof of her unstable life stile = not able to keep a job , does not reside at one place for long ( 6 to 11months maximum ) , after our divorce she married again just to divorce after 20 months. I was her 3rd husband and I only found out of husband number 2 long after I married her. Only thing she can do good is to lie and manipulate people. Even my son complains about it. Now I need to know : In South Africa , at which age can a child decide , without any interference from anybody , where he wants to stay / live. Legally.

Victoria DouglasPosted on2:04 pm - Apr 25, 2018

Good Day

I am have been divorced for 6 years,My ex husband pays maintenance when it suits him and told the courts he doesn’t work.I applied for full responsibility of my daughter as I am the only active parent.We seemed to get along after I applied to the children’s court and got a parenting plan.There after he suggested that she live with him as he was financially stable and his wife would be able to assist him with her.After 3 months (last year march) My daughter refused to go back to her dads saying the stepmother was mistreating her.He hasn’t seen her in 9 months,doesn’t call and when he feels like it deposits less than the amount stated 6 years ago in the divorce decree.I feel like I am the only parent and should be allowed sole responsibility.We do have a court order stating parental rights however the child has been with me ever since.Do I have to go back to the children s court now that has violated the order?

Kim DempsterPosted on1:10 pm - May 5, 2018

Good day,
I am in need of advice. I am planning on immigrating to the UK at the end of this year. I am divorced and my son age 12, lives with me. The father has never paid maintenance and has very little to do with his son. I am told I need to apply for sole custody in order to take my son out of SA. I cannot afford a lawyer. Could I represented myself to the high court? What are my options here. At present the father’s whereabouts are unknown. Thank you in advance.

    Our LawyerPosted on5:36 pm - May 5, 2018

    Good day
    It is best you make use of a lawyer. You dont need to apply for sole custody. You can ask the Court to dispense with the father’s consent.

CarolPosted on10:05 am - May 7, 2018

Hey I am in need of advice am 7 months pregnant me and the boy friend no longer together we had an agreement of maintaining this pregnancy with R500 amount he only did 3 times since I was pregnant the he started giving me stories now I am very confused that when the boy come will he be able to support the child or can I apply for maintenance and he is even threatening me that he is going to apply full custody and since well is a lawyer he never loose and am currently unemployed please help me out?

VanessaPosted on3:08 pm - May 15, 2018

Hi.
I’ve been divorced from my daughter’s father for 10 years. He has been an on again off again father since then. Our daughter is 12. Has refused for the umpteenth time to go to him. His older son decided 2 years ago that he also no longer wants to go there and doesn’t. My ex is also bipolar and this just makes it a lot more difficult. 2 months ago he had a major manic episode and his current wife left my daughter in his care. Which turned out disastrous.
Long story short, I want to have his rights revoked. I have quite a lot of evidence of all the above from over the years. Buys my daughter alcohol, has sex within ear and eye shot. List is endless. Our family advocate office in kzn said to contact welfare, who said to contact family advocate. We are also immigrating next year and ex will now not sign for passport, consent, etc.
Please help. I’m beyond desperate.

    Our LawyerPosted on7:08 am - May 16, 2018

    Hello. We advise you speak to a lawyer about your situation. Either way, a Court can grant you what you want if it is in the child’s best interest. They would decide based on all the facts.

LeratoPosted on2:47 am - May 16, 2018

Greetings

I am a tertiary student who had a baby last year. The baby is currently 7 months old and living with his father. That was our agreement however, as of late the relationship has taken strain and me being away from my son has given the father some sort of attitude that only he can make decisions concerning our baby’s life. He refuses that my family see the baby and now he wants me to exit the baby’s life. What are the means to firstly, make it possible that my family is part of the baby’s life and also what can I do to ensure that I, myself am not kept away from my baby? The whole situation is tricky because I’m in an entirely different province for my studies and therefore only go home every 2-3 months. I just don’t want to lose my baby.

    Our LawyerPosted on7:03 am - May 16, 2018

    Good day

    We advise that you and the father tries to enter into a parenting plan. If that cannot work, we advise that you see the Children’s Court or a lawyer.

AnonymousPosted on8:30 pm - May 17, 2018

Hi i have a 6 month old baby with a women whom i now consider my ex. is it possible to get shared custody and take her over the weekends, i live with my family and my mom is always around to take care of my daughter. TIA

kayPosted on9:38 am - May 19, 2018

Good Day

I need advise urgently. I have a son , almost 4 years old with a guy that I stopped dating when my son was born due to cheating and him not being or showing interest in my Childs birth. ever since his been dating countless women , and disrespects my choices of not wanting all this women around my kid . As an adult we know kids are so confused with whats happening with their parents , so why bring so many women around the kid making him even more confused. My sons dad is 23 and his dating a 31 year old who continuously harasses me and he allows her to call from his cellphone when we speak about him paying maintenance. I always ignored her until she sent me some fake lawyers letters and I had it checked out , I addressed him that I will take the matter further and take him to court for maintenance , as both of them has been making a issue about him having to support his son. He also is not allowed to see his son unless she doesn’t want to see him. he never ask how his son is unless he wants to call me and be nasty that he wants to see his son now ( during the week) when its school , and mind me… has no time on weekends because he is to busy with the gf or in clubs.

He threatened me that I can take him to court , because I’m unnecessary and I work so I can get everything for my son by myself.

I would like to know , if I can go to the maintenance court and also full custody of my son.
We don’t see eye to eye and I have tried many times , to work out a plan for equal responsibilities , and also equal weekends. he always complains he does not have money when his kid needs something but living a fancy life.

I am done fighting for attention for my son and would like to put this to a stop and spare my son the humilliation of a man going around making kids everywhere when his son isn’t even a priority.

    Our LawyerPosted on11:55 am - May 19, 2018

    Good day

    You may go to the maintenance court at any time. They will assess the matter. Regarding full custody, if it is in the child’s best interests, the Court would grant it.

ThabisoPosted on7:33 am - May 21, 2018

I have a son with x girlfriend we had a fallout days before his 1st birthday and next thing on the day of my boys birthday she came with police to take my child then the following months I was sending money so she can look after him. skeptical as I was I started asking were is my boy and I want to see him she blocked my calls, sms, blocked me on Facebook, messenger and whatsapp. since August 5 2017 I found out in January 2018 that my son is in eastern cape, since my boy was 8months I was living with him till he was 1 I have never seen him how can I get help to get my son back and win custody but also allowing his mom to see him I need help with this matter

LizellePosted on12:58 pm - May 21, 2018

Good Afternoon. My fiance has a child of 2 years old almost 3. He had a child with his ex girlfriend. Do you think it is possible for us to get full custody. Since he was born she moved around 9 times so far. Yesterday he came home using faul language and he said directly that it came from his real mother and grandmother. She were also n case that he almost died because she gave him the wrong medicine.She is suppose to come visit him for 2 hours once a week but she never does and that is stated in the parenting plan. She gets him every second weekend and then that day that he is supposed to go to her he says out of his own that he does not want to go to her. There has been incidentcs that other people had to buy his nappies ; food ; and other things. There as also been incidents that he told us that she does not play with him or bath him and other people had to do that. So know i am asking do you think it is possible for us to get full custody of him.

    Our LawyerPosted on8:00 am - May 22, 2018

    Good day. It is possible yes. However you need to prove it is in the child’s best interests. If you can’t then you wont get full custody.

kgomotsoPosted on11:15 am - May 23, 2018

Hi

is it possible to get full custody of my daugher cause her dad left us since i was 7 months pregnant with her and after trying to get him to come to the praty on many occations i eventually stopped contacting him, he goes around lying saying that he takes care of hhis child when in actuall fact we have on contact and now his family wants to claim the child bt when i was pregnant they rejected us both. i dont want sole custody to spite anyone bt i think it would be in the childs best interest if she is with me as i do not want to expose her too much to that side of the family. ofcourse therewill be supervised visitations if they want that but i jst dont want them to take my child as now she is grown (10 months) yet they did not want her when she was a baby.

    Our LawyerPosted on12:47 pm - May 23, 2018

    Good day

    It seems and if you are already exercising sole custody. However we advise that your approach the Children’s Court for assistance on this issue.

N ModisePosted on7:21 am - May 27, 2018

Hi. My girlfriend has a child from a previous relationship. Because the father did not pay damages and was not consistent with his parental responsibilities, my girlfriend wanted me to adopt her child when we get married. We currently doing lobola negotiations and I have been informed I have to make an additional payment for my girlfriend’s child. I have been made to understand this will allow my girlfriend’s child to move-in with us (some sought of customary adoption); if this payment is not made the child will stay remain with her maternal grandparents. I don’t want to separate my future wife from her child and so am willing to make the payment. But I have my reservations and I am equally worried about the legality of such arrangements. I understand biological fathers have rights to the children. What is my position in this should the real decides to man-up for his child or when there are conflicting ideas of how the child should be raised. Really looking forward to your reply. Thanks.

    Our LawyerPosted on1:19 pm - May 29, 2018

    Hi

    Only an Adoption Court can effect a proper adoption in Law. The biological father has rights until such time it is take away from him. We suggest you speak to the Children’s Court in your area.

KailaPosted on12:06 pm - Jun 6, 2018

I have a 5-year-old daughter with a man from Namibia. She was born in Windhoek and he went and did her birth registration and gave her his surname. Now I have argued with the home affairs in Nam 1001 times as we were not married and according to them he could not give her his surname and he did not have any consent form or anything.

When we moved to SA, he came one week, and we made her an abridged birth certificate. He gave all permissions etc to make her a SA citizen which she is now.

I have read and understood that all kids must have an unabridged birth certificate and I communicated that with him in the past and a lady from home affairs said we can do a double barrel surname. So, he came down and we filed in all the forms paid the fees and have been waiting. Eventually I got hold of someone and they explained that due to fact that neither of us have a double barrel surname she cannot have one either, so all the paper work and fees and waiting was for nothing.

We have tried seeing a social worker, but he went and spoke to her behind my back and he had her draw up all kinds of documentation. My problem with that is I cannot enroll her in schools without his written consent or get her passport without him. One lady from Home affairs said I wont even be able to go across a border without him being physically present or signing forms in SA!

I found another lady that said she could assist me if I get a police clearance stating that I now in fact have NO contact with him at all he has stopped paying maintenance for the second time since we moved here. She said I can hand in all evidence and forms to her and they will send it through. After all that again no help as I was told I need to go to child court.

This man contributes nothing to my child. We have contacted him when she was ill and needed to go to specialists and he refused to help me! Saying I am the reason his child is not on the abridged birth certificate but if he did his research he would find out on the abridged there is no space for the father!

I do now know where in Namibia he is and have no contact with him either. How do I go about things

KatlegoPosted on3:30 pm - Jun 19, 2018

Good day i need advice. I have a 7 year old daughter and her father and i split up 6 years ago. He doesn’t pay maintenance only the discounted shool fees that i got at my work place and nothing else. He is constantly unsettling our daughter by making false promises and not even bothering to keep to any visitational appoitments. What are my options because its doing more emotional and mental chaos for little one.

LinayPosted on11:53 am - Jun 22, 2018

Hi I need advice.I am a 21year old mother of a 3month old baby boy.The problem i have with the dad is he acts like he doesnt care about the child or me.He supports the baby financially because he is a Nurse and I am still a student.We have been arguing since day one and He has threathen me about taking his baby before.I dont know what to d9 anymore because everytime we talk it ends in an argument whether its about baby clothes or just the baby.He doesnt seem to be very interested in the baby and only buys him stuff.What can i do to protect my son against a father thats not interested in him but only supporting him financially

..Posted on11:41 am - Jun 26, 2018

Good day.
I have a daughter of 4 years old.. Her father is not in here life much, he only contacts here on her birthday. Nothing in between, not a message of how is she doing on anything. He maybe sees her once a year if she’s lucky.
Is it possible for me to get sole custody of her? He just upsets her, the last time he came to fetch her, she cried that she didn’t want to go to him. And I cannot deny him because we have parenting plane that was brought to by a family advocate when she was 1,5 years old. What can I do. He is not interested in her life, and my fiance is more of a father to her, and she even calls him dad.

    Our LawyerPosted on11:45 am - Jun 26, 2018

    Good day
    If you can show its is best that he never has contact, or has limited contact to her, then the court would have to order it. But as he is the biological father, it is hard to state that the court would grant it. You may want to consider speaking to a social worker, or child care expert and get their view on the matter.

LaurenPosted on12:21 pm - Jul 5, 2018

Hi, i need advice. I am a SA citizen as well as my daughter. 80% of my family reside in AUS. I would like to move with my daughter as i would like to accept a job offer & to be close to all family as well as offer her a better life that i envision for her but father will not sign consent. He has money & travels often, he is not present & seldom supports, comes and goes as he pleases.

Is gaining consent possible but still allowing him to visit etc?

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